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Emily

Travel

How I saved $4 while travelling with my kids

At the corner of Calle Hama and main street in El Nido, there is a popular pizza restaurant that attracts throes of tourists. Every night there is a queue of sun-kissed island hoppers on the street, waiting to order thin crust pizza cooked over a wood-fired oven. One evening, to satiate a western cuisine craving, I took a glimpse at the menu; the description of their proscuitto pizza made my mouth water.

“You want to eat here?” Daniel asked?

I glanced at the prices. With drinks, a meal would cost around 750 pesos, which is around $22 CAD.

“Okay,” I said, “but let’s get take out. We can get drinks at the grocery store.”

As we waited for our pizza, I went to a grocery store to pick up some beer (50 pesos), 1L of water (30 pesos) and 1L of mango juice (90 pesos). One the way back to pizza restaurant I passed by a shake stand and couldn’t resist buying a fresh fruit shake (70 pesos). In addition to the pizza (420 pesos), our entire dinner (and more than enough liquids to last us till lunch the next day) came out to be 660 pesos ($18 CAD).

We enjoyed dinner in the little courtyard outside our hotel room. The pizza was delicious and hit the spot. Little Sister, who was overtired from a day at the beach, began to fuss. Daniel rocked her to sleep as he sipped his beer.

“Thank goodness we got take-out. She would have been insufferable if we stayed at the restaurant.”

“Yep, and we saved almost 100 pesos!” I said proudly.

9 Tips to Save Money While Travelling with Children

Here are other ways to save money:

1. Budget for it. Do you want to go on a trip? Get real and do some research to see how much it may potentially cost. Then start saving for it now.As soon as I found out I was pregnant with Little Sister, Daniel and I started saving up for a bigger trip to take while on parental leave. We determined how much we were willing to spend and then put aside money each month.

2. Plan ahead. The longer you take to plan, you will come across better deals and discounts. We planned our Philippines trip hastily (long story short, due to career transitions, we decided that Daniel would take parental leave earlier than originally intended); we planned a month-long trip in a week. Not only was it stressful, it also cost us more than we anticipated. We didn’t find any deals and domestic flight fares kept on going up every time we checked. Had we more time to plan for our trip, we could have had better choices for our accommodations and better prices on domestic flights.

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3. Rent an apartment. Every travel and personal finance blog will suggest renting an apartment. We’ve been doing it since before AirBnB existed. For our honeymoon, I rented a studio apartment in Paris to save money. The shower in the studio apartment was situated in the bedroom, separated only by a sheer curtain; not very romantic, but the cost was the affordable option for our two week stay in the city of love.

Renting a place in a desired location is usually cheaper than staying at a hotel in the same neighbourhood. Additionally, apartment rentals include use of its kitchen which allows you to cook, saving you even more money (see Tip #5). With kids, the flexibility of a rented vacation home is great; there is more space for kids to play in and when they’re asleep, you can just close the door to their room and escape them for a little while.

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4. Go for comfort. Sometimes it’s worth paying more for sanity sake. You will save on therapy in the long run. With kids, there is inevitably more downtime and you want to be able to relax at your accommodations.

Since we had a week to plan (and we were going during peak season), there was limited accommodation options within our desired price range. For our stay in Puerto Princessa, I debated between two resorts with a $10/night difference. The one we settled on was more expensive but it had a pool and restaurant on the premises. Having a pool is great; it kept Big Brother occupied when Little Sister was napping. Big Brother sometimes preferred the pool and lounging at the hotel over sight seeing because it gave him time to play with his own toys. We also used the restaurant more than expected; after a long day out, it was easier to dine at the hotel then venture to town for dinner with two exhausted kids.

5. Eat in. Eating out is a big expense whether you’re at home or on the road, and a great way to save money is to cut back those restaurant meals. Make breakfasts, at a minimum, and/or pack lunches for outings. If your accommodations do not have a have a kitchen, find hotels that provide free breakfast; one discounted meal is better than none.

When we were in France during our first parental leave, we cooked breakfast and dinner at our apartment every single day and packed lunches depending on what we were doing. France has amazing farmers markets so cooking— even on vacation— was a lot of fun. Ultimately, it saved us a lot of money.We were able to splurge on nicer restaurants and endless supply of pain au chocolat.

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6. Pack Less. Not only is more stuff bulky and inconvenient, extra luggage can be costly during flights. Most budget airlines charge for a fee for check-in luggage.

We try to travel only with carry-on luggage as much as possible. Excluding backpacks, one which belonged to Big Brother, we had three pieces of luggage: a 24 L backpack, a carry-on suitcase with wheels, and the Lotus travel crib. The suitcase did exceed carry-one the weight limit when it was full with diapers and baby food, so we did pay to check it in on domestic flights.

savemoneywhiletraveling

7. Skip the organized tours and excursions. They can cost a lot of money. When we went on cruise with Big Brother a couple years ago, the ship advertised organized tours around town or to a beach for a hefty fee. We chose to the same thing DIY fashion. In Belize, we rented a van for a city tour; advertised cost was $35/person and we paid $30 for the three of us. In Mexico, a beach trip would have cost $50/person; we grabbed a taxi and went to a beach resort for less than the cost of one person, even with the cost of pina coladas and lunch. Sure there was the convenience of having the tour organized for you, but unless you really don’t want to plan, tours are not worth the price. Ultimately, travelling with kids is all about spending time as a family; you don’t need a fancy excursion to do that.

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8. Travel slowly. We took it pretty slow in the Philippines, staying about a week at each city. We spent 9 days in Bohol and it was the least stressful segment of our trip. We took a couple of day trips, but most of the time we wandered around the streets surrounding the resort or the extensive resort grounds. We reserved “activity” for mornings; on some days the activity was a walk into the nearby town for lunch. In the afternoons we would take a family nap and swim in the pool. As dusk approached, we would sit by the river and people watch.

savemoneytravelwithkids

There is so much to take in when travelling slowly. Big Brother loved playing with with other kids. In El Nido, he and some local kid spent an hour burying jellyfish that had washed up the beach. In Puerto Princesa, he became enamored by an older kid also at the resort and followed her around. When he wasn’t around kids, he chased rooster and dogs around or collected rocks, leaves and shells. Being in a different environment is more than enough to entertain and stimulate a child. Taking it slow teaches children about the world around them and teaches you the simplicity of play. Also, play is free.

Last Word

Daniel laughed when I told him we had saved 100 pesos. “You know that is only $4, right?”

I was aware.

I also saved another $4 for using the same tricycle driver two days in a row, and $7 for each day our hotel provided breakfast and $30 for organizing our own Honda Bay island hopping tour instead of booking one with an agency. It all adds up.

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Travel

Travel, not a necessity but a luxury

My family didn’t travel when I was growing up. At 16, my parents took my siblings and me on a cruise vacation in the Caribbean. It took my parents years to save for the trip. Travelling, for the sake of seeing the world, wasn’t high on the lists of things to accomplish given their financial circumstances in their twenties and thirties.

During my last year of university, Daniel’s parents invited me to visit them in the Middle East.I began saving diligently for a post-graduation trip. I spent as little as possible and even passed on my grad Sci-Formal, the culmination of achievement for engineering students at my university. A couple weeks after the last final exam, Daniel and I flew to Lebanon.

In Lebanon, traffic signs are merely decorations, roads are shared with animals, mopeds carry families of five, and drivers weave in and out of oncoming traffic. I thought I just might die.

I thought I would die within minutes of leaving the airport in Beirut. It was the first time I experienced driving outside the western world: traffic signs are merely decorations, roads are shared with animals, mopeds carry families of five, and drivers weave in and out of oncoming traffic. After surviving Middle Eastern driving, the experience was worth the daily diet of buttered bagels for two semesters.

That trip to Lebanon shifted my perspective on travel and opened the door to a whole new world. The proverbial lightbulb turned on over my head; travel wasn’t only accessible by the wealthy. I, a new university graduate, was not considered rich and had gone on a trip! After that, I traveled as much as I could. I viewed travel as a necessity in my life, working hard to save for multiple trips every year and learning secrets to stretch my dollar.

“You have come to my country; I really hope I can one day go to yours.” Travel for the sake of seeing the world is experienced by relatively small group of people.

Budget travel. That is the term I use to describe the way I travel as if it gives me street cred. Please don’t lump me in with the type of traveler who taxis to the Marriott or Four Seasons— don’t you know, I sleep in rented apartments and hostels?!

Daniel and I backpacked through Southeast Asia a few years ago on a budget of $10k, $5000 per person. Our flights around Asia alone cost over 20% of the budget. In order to keep costs down, we chose to forgo some comforts as backpackers tend to do. In Thailand, we stayed in hut by the beach for $7 a night. The most basic of accommodations, the hut contained a bed with a sheet and nothing else. It also included a private washroom, though I did share with geckos and giant cockroaches.

travel-is-luxury-India

We traveled through northern India by rail. We shared a berth with six others and pull down bunk beds. Despite 12+ hour trips through the night, I barely slept, horror stricken at the rats and cockroaches roaming freely in the dark beneath my bed. I survived 3 overnight train rides. Though I am a bit scarred and have vowed never to ride an overnight train through India ever again, I patted myself for seeing the world on a dime.

travel-is-luxury-Brazil

On a bus in Brazil, I met a man eager to practice his English. His dream was to one day visit Canada- Saskatchewan, of all places. “You have come to my country; I really hope I can one day go to yours.” he told me with excitement. The average monthly wage in Brazil is barely $800; the cost of a round trip ticket to Canada from Brazil is $1600. The average Brazilian would have to fork over more than two months income for just the flight. That’s nearly 20% of their annual income- for endless cornfields!

That’s when I had a moment of clarity- nothing profound or novel- just a moment where I grasped a concept that escaped my attention thus far. Travel- any travel– is a luxury. When using the word luxury to describe travel, it conjures images of beautiful and clean resorts like in Bora Bora or something. Luxury travel is for gorgeous people who enjoy sunsets from their balcony while sipping champagne and hors d’oeuvres. Luxurious indeed, but so is riding a cockroach infested train with a backpack. Every opportunity to leave home is should be considered as luxury travel. Travel for the sake of seeing the world is experienced by relatively small group of people.

I wrote this while sitting on the patio of a hotel in Cebu. The $33/night hotel was like a shining beacon, relatively clean and well-maintained, in the middle of a grey and dirty street The kids sat across from me eating breakfast and people watching; Big Brother exclaimed every time he saw a tricycle pass by.. I was overwhelmed by gratitude, at the opportunity to see the Philippines, to bring my children—one of whom won’t even remember a single thing—to a foreign across the world for leisure, to travel for the sake of seeing the world. Yes, I budget travel but it is a luxury I am extremely grateful for.

In the next few weeks, Daniel and I will be sharing our experience here in the Philippines and tips for travelling with young ones here. Hope you enjoy!

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Travel

Travel Plans for 2016

For as long as Daniel and I have been married, travel has always been a priority. Even when Big Brother was born, we didn’t let a child stop us from seeing the world. Instead, we shared our passion with the kid, taking him along with us. Every year, we have the privilege of travelling abroad for a few weeks as well as spending a week at a locally rented vacation home. Even with a lower annual income (from being on parental leave) and career transitions, this year will be no different. The wanderlust is strong in us, and when distant lands calls, we answer.

Philippines

UrbanDepartures_Philippines

Daniel and I will be spending a month of parental leave in the Philippines with the kids. We leave at the end of this week! For the longest time, we couldn’t decide where to go and entertained practically every country in South America, Asia and Europe before settling on the sunny Philippines during the cold and dreary Canadian February. There are four weeks of island-hopping planned, jumping from Bohol to Palawan. An itinerary isn’t set; our only goal is to spend quality time together and soak up as much vitamin D as possible.

Camping

UrbanDeparutres_Camping

The first time I went camping, not having gone in over a decade, was last year- with a baby. Despite not being the outdoorsy type, I thought it would be great fun to spend a couple nights in the great outdoors with a then two-month old infant (who know’s what I was thinking; I was sleep deprived). With borrowed gear and a cooler filled with hot dogs, the family drove to Provincial park two hours east of Toronto where we slept in a tent for two nights. Surprisingly, the baby did well. More surprisingly, I survived and enjoyed roughing it. Wanting my children to appreciate nature and not squirm at dirt and insects like I do, we are making camping an annual family tradition. Oh, the things I do for my kids.

Last Word

With the weak Canadian dollar, it is definitely isn’t the best time to travel. The same can be said about our timing, being on parental leave with a reduced income and all. But, we see things a little differently: we both have the month off and we only have to pay for one kid. Why not now? Yes, travel is luxury, but one we save up for and are willing to pay for. According to a Capital One study, 85% of Canadians would rather have experiences over a luxury vehicle. It would appear we are in good company. We drive a used 15 year-old Toyota, so I’ll see you abroad!

What are your travel plans for the year?

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Investing

Millennial Housing: Do the Math!

Late last year, we were interviewed for by the Toronto Star for an article about millennial housing and how we impact and affect the market in Toronto. When the article came out this past weekend, we found The Star stating we had “done the math.”

I have previously shared the motivation behind our decision to remain in our small space. Today, I’ll draw the curtains to show you the numbers. On a side note, math is awesome.

The Background

We have the capacity to clear the mortgage in its entirety right now, but it would require us to liquidate all of our investments; let’s not get into the whole mortgage repayment versus investment debate right now.

As article indicated, we purchased our condo over 7 years ago for $280,000. Definitely not a small sum of money even back in 2008. Our friend purchased a much bigger house in Minnesota for a third of the price; he continues to poke fun of our expensive tiny box of a home. Considering that housing prices began to skyrocket at a record-breaking pace in 2009, a two bedroom condo for over a quarter of a million seems like a steal nowadays.

We made mortgage reduction a huge priority in the first few years as homeowners (well, after clearing Daniel’s $30K school loan first). We increased our monthly payments whenever our income increased and all of our annual savings went into the mortgage as lump sum payments. The amortization period on the condo was reduced to 15 years from 25 years.

As we better educated ourselves on personal finance and investing, we re-allocated our annual savings to low cost index investments but kept an accelerated bi-weekly mortgage payment schedule. An equilibrium between debt repayment and investing was formed; we are paying off the mortgage and saving at rates that will accelerate the end date for full home ownership and retirement. We have the capacity to clear the mortgage in its entirety right now, but it would require us to liquidate all of our investments; let’s not get into the whole mortgage repayment versus investment debate right now.

As of January 2016, we have paid off $146,000 of the principle, leaving a remaining mortgage of around $133,000. Without making any changes to our current monthly mortgage payments or savings rates, the mortgage for our condo will be paid off in seven years.

Hypothetical Purchase of a New Home

We would have 25% downpayment for a $850,000 home. Our new mortgage would now be mind boggling $637,500.

Let’s say we decide to upgrade right now and find a home in Leslieville, a neighbourhood we once seriously considered. The average home in Leslieville, as of November 2015, was approximately $800,000; after skimming through MLS, I found a semi-detach I liked for $850,000.

We would take the proceeds from the sale of condo (less closing costs) and use it as a downpayment for the new place. Based on current market prices of a two bedroom condo in our neighbourhood, that would roughly amount to a $213,000 down payment, or 25% of the purchase price of my bigger yuppie house. Our new mortgage would now be mind boggling $637,500. With an amortization of 25 years and an interest rate of 2.49%, our monthly mortgage payment would be $2,850, an increase of $1,100.

[table]
“”, Current (Condo), Hypothetical (House)
Mortgage Remaining, “$133,000”, “$637,500”
Years Remaining, 7, 25
Monthly Mortgage Payment, “$1,750”, “$2,850”
Difference, “”, “$1,100”
[/table]

What are the implications of $1,100 a month?

  • $13,200 a year, for starters. In five years, which is the minimum duration we intend to stay at the condo, we will have saved $66,500.
  • If we stay at the condo longer- say seven years-  we will have bumped up our savings to $92,400. Investing $13,200 a year for seven years, with a rate of return of 6% would grow to $110,799. We would also be mortgage free. That, to me, seems like a better place to be than in a bigger home.
  • If we purchase the hypothetical $850,000 house- in seven years- we will have paid $98,200 in interest. And that’s assuming an interest rate of 2.49% through the entire duration. That is a lot of my hard earned money paying the bank! The outstanding mortgage would have a balance of $496,500, with another 18 years to go.
  • Let’s not forget the cost of discretionary renovations. Many of these gems for sale have “good bones” and are just waiting to be gutted- working kitchens or not.

But Real Estate is an Investment!

I do not deny that real estate can be an investment, especially a house. The rate of return for a home in Leslieville would certainly surpass the rate of appreciation on the condo. Keeping that in mind, I compared the overall state of our finances between the two scenarios: staying in our condo and buying that house. The comparison was based on the following assumptions:

  • Interest rates remain at 2.49 percent for seven years. Note, this is unlikely, and since interest rates are at a historic low, there is a bigger chance of interest rates increasing.
  • The value of the condo is calculated with a yearly appreciation of 7%. This is based the value assessment of our home in 2014 and the purchase price in 2008.
  • The value of the Leslieville house is calculated with a growth rate of 9.5%. This is based on the average house value in neighbourhood in 2008 and 2014
  • The rate of return for investments is 6%.

[table]
In 7 Years , Condo, House
Remaining Mortgage, $0, “$497,000”
Estimated Home Value, “$679,000”, “$1,607,00”
“Investment Returns ($30K over 7 years + $1,100/month over years)”, “$1,750”, “$2,850”
Net Worth (from housing), “$835,000”, “$1,067,000″[/table]

In seven years (so 2023), buying the house in Leslieville could make me a millionaire. Not bad,but I would still have half a million in debt with all my assets tied to the house, leaving me house rich and cash poor. The difference in net worth between House me and Condo me would be $232,000. That is a tidy sum, but I would have to sell (and lose) the house to reap the benefit. On the other hand, Condo me would be cash rich having accumulated $156,000 in liquid assets. Unless we sell, real estate, however much it’s worth, will not generate the necessary income for retirement; a high net worth where assets are tied down in real estate does not bring financial freedom.

Leaving $156,000 invested for another 27 years, until I reach the retirement age of 65 years old, my liquid assets will have grown to $752,286- without adding anything else to that investment fund. However, that would be unlikely as Condo me would also be mortgage free with an “extra” $1,750 to save each month.

Related: The Great Debate: Condo versus House

Other Considerations

Other aspects of our finances would be affected by a higher mortgage, like our ability to travel or splurge on a big purchase or even to renovate. Our current housing expenses (which include mortgage, maintenance, property tax, and insurance) account for 24% of our monthly budget; an increase in mortgage payments and property taxes would raise that percentage, diminishing our current standard of living (less fun, less travel) and ability to save. In the case of an emergency, we’d risk not having sufficient cash flow to cover the unexpected expenses; in the case of reduced income, we’d risk not meeting mortgage payment obligations. And of course, if interest rates go up, so will the monthly payments.

Our Finances, Our Values, Our Priorities

Millennials Move Up

After running the numbers, we decided to stay in the condo. It is a decision specific to our family and based on our values. While we could “afford” a house, acquiring a bigger mortgage does not align with our current priorities. For example, one of our financial goals is to retire at a much younger age than the average Canadian at 65 years of age. A bigger mortgage would hinder our ability to reach accelerated financial freedom.

Everyone’s situation is different. Financially speaking, some have higher incomes, bigger retirement funds, larger down payments or opt to borrow from the bank of mom and dad. Value wise, some people do not care for early retirement or place greater importance in the benefits of living in a house in particular neighourbood. They are trade-offs to every financial decision; only you can determine what you are willing to give up or live for.

Last Word

When considering taking on a mortgage, it is important to review the following questions:

  • How will the monthly payments affect your current standard of living and will you be okay with the changes?
  • Will you be able to maintain mortgage payments if your salary is reduced, like in the case of unemployment?
  • If so, will maintaining mortgage affect put a strain on finances and keep you up at night?
  • Will you be able to maintain the mortgage if interest rates go up?
  • Will you be able to save for retirement and reach financial freedom at desired age with your mortgage?

The only way to answer these questions is to do the math.

You’ve heard it here many times before, and now again from The Star: we’re staying put. For how long, I can’t say. We intend on staying for 5 years, but it could longer or shorter. Maybe the housing market will crash. Maybe we will win a million dollars (from lottery tickets we don’t buy). Maybe the kids will outgrow our space sooner than we plan. Or maybe we will live mortgage free for a few years before deciding to move. Whatever the case, when our situation changes, you can be sure we’ll do the math first.

Sources

  • Toronto Star Article: Millennials set to drive change in real estate market
  • http://www.ratehub.ca/
  • https://www.realtor.ca/
  • http://news.morningstar.com/index/indexReturn.html
  • http://www1.toronto.ca/wps/portal/contentonly?vgnextoid=6245ff0e43db1410VgnVCM10000071d60f89RCRD
  • http://juliekinnear.com/toronto-neighbourhoods/leslieville-real-estate/house-prices

Have you done the math?

Lifestyle

How to handle well-meaning gifts

Just like that…Christmas is upon us once again. It really snuck up on us this year. I’ve been wrestling with two competing desires; I go back and forth between an elaborate first Christmas for Baby Sister and a simple one with minimal gifts and activities. I couldn’t quite decide, putting off family festivities and shopping for as long as I could. Eventually, the desire for tradition and gaiety won, so here we are, two days before Christmas, squeezing in many activities that usually span weeks. After braving the crowds at the mall yesterday, we- at the very least- have presents under our tree.

Christmas shopping was particularly difficult this year. Daniel and I opted out of exchanging presents with each other, but we still wanted to give presents to the kids. At the same time, we are also aspiring to have less at home. In the end, I purchased an outfit and a couple of handmade toys from independent local business for Big Brother and Little Sister. I am happy to welcome these new items into our home, however, I am filled with slight apprehension with the gifts the kids will be receiving from their grandparents and other relatives. Their gifts are generally well-meaning, but do not always fit the ethos of simplicity and quality our family is striving for. So what do you do when you receive gifts of questionable quality in excess quantity? While there aren’t any hard and fast rules, here’s how we try to keep things under control.

Focus on what you can control: your attitude, your actions

It is up to the gift-givers to decide how to spend their money. What you can control is how you view the gift. Instead of seeing the unwanted gifts as a burden, put on a different lens and realize it is an opportunity to pay it forward.

My mom and her sisters are crazy generous, especially when it comes to my kids. Whenever they see something my children might like, they will buy it for them. This presents two problems for me as a parent: an excess of toys, and toys that do not have my stamp of approval. “Mooooommmmmm!” I often complain, “Big Brother does NOT need that.” She always retorts with “I know he doesn’t NEED it but it’s my money and I choose to spoil my grandson with it.” She is right; it’s her prerogative to buy whatever she wants for her grandchildren.

We have absolutely no control over when and what people gift. Ultimately, it is up to the gift-givers to decide how to spend their money. What you can control is how you view the gift. Instead of seeing the unwanted gifts as a burden, put on a different lens and realize it is an opportunity to pay it forward. Big Brother gets to play with his new toys, as reluctant as I may be; they are his gifts after all. But because those toys do not align with our family values and typical quality, Big brother generally grows bored of them quickly and chooses to donate them to kids who need them more. Donate or re-gift to people who would better appreciate the items.

Establish boundaries and expectations when you can

With no power to stop my mom and aunts from buying my family presents, I laid down a set of rules for them to follow. Toys stay at my parents and I get to choose what to bring home. Certain toys, such as guns, are absolutely not allowed. Clothes are to be exchanged or returned if I do not need them. Battery operated toys are acceptable; they know we don’t buy batteries.

Establishing boundaries may sound restricting but is very liberating. Relatives can continue to give freely, when and as they choose. It reduces unnecessary clutter as items can be exchanged for things that are actually used. It develops a spirit of collaboration; my mom and aunts sometimes ask what it is that they can gift my children or whether certain things are okay with me before they make a purchase. Mutual agreement can be reached when boundaries are communicated, and both giver and receiver go home happy.

Provide guidance

Do not demand “no cheap plastic toys, please!” and request those beautiful toys hand carved by wood elves.

For special occasions, such as birthdays and Christmas, it helps to provide suggestions to the gift giver. Every Christmas, I send an email to family with hints as to what to get the kids (for example, Little Sister is outgrowing her clothes or Big Brother has an abundance of trains, could you please avoid buying them this year). There are several ways to approach a wishlist. It can be specific with links to the items or more general in broad categories. It is helpful to provide a list with items in varying prices and from a wide range of stores.

Try to see the act of giving through the eyes of the gift giver. Consider their financial situation and even their interests; your suggestions should not stress them out. Daniel’s wish lists always include tech equipment, but he throws in other things because he knows my mum and I find no joy in perusing through an electronics store. It is not absolutely necessary, of course, but a nice gesture on his part.

It is important to avoid stipulations when asking for gifts; it is not helpful but rather rude and presumptuous to demand “no cheap plastic toys, please!” and request toys hand carved by wood elves. Be helpful and provide guidance, not instruction. Tread delicately and be courteous.

Related: Defence of Christmas Consumerism

Value relationships over things

Earlier this month my mom hinted on buying me purse for Christmas. I quickly and bluntly told her I did not want a purse. “What do you want then?” she asked. “Actually, nothing at the moment”, I said. She then offered cash, which I gladly accepted. Then I asked for an RESP contribution as Little Sister’s present. My mom agreed without hesitation.

Denying a gift or asking for cash may be a violation of etiquette, but because of my close relationship with my mom, I was able to have open conversation. In some relationships, requesting cash gifts or being direct with what it is you want can be considered taboo and tactless. It is important to be sensitive the dynamics of each relationship and determine what may offend or hurt friends or family. Gift giving and receiving should strengthen a relationship not alienate.

The Last Word

Gifts are generally well-meaning, but do not always fit the ethos of your family- like striving to have less at home. When receiving gifts in excess or ones you simply do not want, just be grateful and remember presents are an expression of love.

I, by no means, have mastered the art of gift-receiving. More often than I should, I cringe at well-meaning gifts, thinking “oh, you really shouldn’t have”. While I will inevitably receive a gift I wish I (or the kids) hadn’t, I want to have a heart of thankfulness. After all, to live in intention is to simply have gratitude.

We have one friend who repeatedly brings clothes for my son in three sizes too big, obviously purchased because it was on sale. For the longest time, I almost dreaded annual visits from that friend because I knew it would come with clutter. Then I started to realize that he didn’t have to buy my kid clothes; he was doing it out of love. I do not need to like the item that I receive, but I need to appreciate the gesture and view it as an expression of love. While there are people who gift because it is a societal obligation or courtesy, most do it out of generosity and a loving heart. When you receive that less than desired present, respond with grace and gratitude. Be thankful for the thoughtfulness, even while knowing that the gift will not be a permanent resident in your home.

Dear readers, thank you for spending your time with us here. Enjoy your holidays and your presents, no matter what you receive. I wish you all a beautiful holiday season. Merry Christmas!