A Glimpse of Simplicity in Prince Edward County

A couple Sundays ago, a convoy of four cars led by my husband, drove out of Toronto and into the countryside. Though the destination was only 180 km away, it took almost three hours to reach it. It was an exasperating journey. Our cellphone rang every half hour with requests to make pit stops because someone was either hungry or needed to use the washroom. My mum, at one point, was driving 90 kilometers an hour, and when we sped up to 105km/hour, we nearly lost her. Then the toddler in the backseat woke up from his nap and wouldn’t stop crying unless I sang David Guetta’s “Shot Me Down” non-stop. Upon arrival at a house outside of the small town of Wellington, Ontario (population 1700), members of my family, ranging from two years old to sixty-five, spilled out like a clown car routine at a circus (or an Asian tour bus). “Finally,” they said, “How come you said it would less than two hours to get here?” I wanted to run for the hills. What was I thinking when I invited my family to spend a few days in Prince Edward County with me?!

My mum’s family was in Toronto for my cousin’s wedding. I thought it’d would be nice to gather the family for a small retreat after the wedding and rented a house in PEC to spend a few days. I wanted my two young cousins, who were visiting from Hong Kong, to experience fresh water lakes, camp fires and walking barefoot on grass; they rarely have the opportunity to run around in open green spaces.

I rented an old spacious home called the Captain’s House. Built in 1875, the Captain’s House is a classic Ontario farmhouse: symmetrical facade, steep center gable with a gothic window, red-bricked. “You love houses like this,” Daniel said to me as we drove onto the lane. Yes, I do; my dream house would be in the Gothic Revival style (or of Georgian architecture, depending on the dream). The interior of the Captain’s House was lovely; the upstairs had four cozy bedrooms with wide-plank hardwood floors and windows that let in the most beautiful light. “The light, the light! How come we don’t get light like this in the city?” I asked Daniel each morning we stayed in the house.

My family enjoyed the house as well. They, not sharing my love for old houses, got over the fact that the house was older than the oldest of them, and fell in love with the property. They chased after the kids in the yard, pushed my kiddo around in a scooter, biked to the beach a couple kilometers away. One afternoon, we held a soccer match behind the house. It was the aunts’ first time playing soccer (ever) and they screamed and squealed more than they played. One team had Batman as one of their players which proved to be a disadvantage since all Batman wanted to do was pull a wagon out into the middle of the field and sit in it.

Kelvin, my ten year old cousin from Hong Kong, was the first to wake up every morning. He’d play outside in the yard while everyone else stayed in bed for at least another hour; I could hear him dribbling the basketball at 7AM. In the evenings, when it grew dark, Daniel would build a fire and try to teach Kelvin to roast marshmallows. Kelvin was keen on setting the marshmallows on fire. “Canada is so much fun! You can burn things here!” he said.

My uncle from Hong Kong, who has a fondness for chipmunks, would search for them on the property, exclaiming with glee at each sighting. He also caught frogs for the younger kids to play with- much to his not-outdoorsy sisters’ disapproval.

“They’re disgusting”, my aunts and mum would say.
“Frogs are delicious, a delicacy in France,” he retorted.
“I want to hold one! I want to hold one!” said the younger cousins, dancing around my uncle.
“Fog goes wibbit” added my little one.

Despite my family being loud, rambunctious, and a handful, it was wonderful to spend the time with them. Being out in the country was a privilege; we had the opportunity to experience a different way of living from the urban/suburban lifestyle we’re all so accustomed to. My aunts marveled at the stars, my cousins adored the open space, my uncles ate my non-Chinese cooking (while missing their usual bowls of rice), and I got to serve my elders who have always looked after me. Out in the country, my family, including myself, were liberated from the noise of usual lives and found ourselves playing or doing nothing, unaware of time.

My family departed from the Captain’s House mid-week while Daniel, the kiddo, my sister and I remained. We spent a few days in complete quiet. We’d wake up to play outside with the kiddo. After lunch and a nap, we’d go to the beach or for a bike ride, making a stop at the nearby farmer’s market to grab produce for the evening. After the kiddo was put to bed, I’d sew for a bit or bake while chatting with my sister before calling it a night. We remained unplugged for most of the week, a precursor to September’s Project UrbanSimplify (yes, that still exists). There was just something better to do than to check email, surf the Internet, stalk Facebook, or watch television (though I do admit to constantly Instagramming– I’m addicted!!). We weren’t on a schedule and played and worked at a leisurely pace. There was always something to do, but nothing we had to do. We went somewhere every day, but didn’t have place to be.

That is how I want my life to be all the time: community, productivity, rest, simplicity.

Of course a cottage vacation is all about simplicity; that is, after all, why people own cottages, to retreat to a more quiet place (figuratively and literally), no? But it is depressing that we need to escape from reality, that the quiet only comes on cottage weekends 12 times a year (or, in my case, once a year when we rent a summer home). I have been thinking, how do I make the “summer home experience” my reality?

That brings me back to Project UrbanSimplify and our Urban Departures mandate to live more simply for the year. Eight months into our project, we’ve completed some challenges; our home is a bit less cluttered, I completed my first 5K run (raising money for a cause dear to my heart), and Daniel has a better wardrobe, but Project UrbanSimplify has not been transformative. We’ve learned lessons, we’ve been challenged, but our lives are not simpler. It still takes a bulldozer to wake me up before 8AM; I have not exercised since my 5K run; I stopped shopping for clothes for three months and then went crazy and bought lots of things. Then Daniel and my schedule got a little crazy and we put Project UrbanSimplify on hiatus. I fill every empty box in our calendar and then whisk ourselves to event after event, always running late, always thinking of the next place to be. We’re missing our goal, our vision, and continue to live a life of clutter, whether that be stress, materiality, anxiety, noise.

But having been reminded of this from our week long getaway, I am truly determined to remove the clutter. While Project UrbanSimplify has not yet simplified things for me, it has sparked new thoughts. New perspectives has usurped old ones. New dreams and ideas brew. I feel transformation is within grasp. Simplicity will be had.

Thank you Captain’s House. My time with you has encouraged and inspired.

P.S. Here are a few last photos from our time there last week if you’d like to see.